What Was I Thinking? (Part 4)

This is where I can really start giving out useful advice. First of all, have a good idea of what you really want to do. Granted, each sales person that comes to your home will start offering ideas that you will not have considered. This may actually become a problem as it did for us because each successive salesperson gave us new ideas to consider. Early on in the process our rectangular island became L-shaped. Then we added an idea my brother had first come up with, extending the pantry into the dining room. Of course, if we were going to expand into the dining room we'd have to have all of the old paneling removed and the ceiling scraped of the acoustic cottage cheese.

The first guy who came out didn't actually offer a lot of ideas of his own, though he was exceptionally pleasant. With him we seemed to talk more about materials, countertops, cabinet pulls and suck. I managed not to choke visibly when we saw his initial estimate. He then knocked it down 20% and a little more because we were looking to start work in January, typically their slow season. Even after those reductions it was still outrageous but at least it gave us a good benchmark.

In retrospect I feel sorry for the second guy who came out, a nice Russian guy who we met at the Home Show. He came out one evening and while he was here Wife and I kept coming up with lots of off-the-wall idea, like adding extra cabinets above where the island is going be. That was also the first time Wife even mentioned the idea of getting a new oven and refrigerator. I'd never even heard of the idea of "counter-depth" refrigerators before. So here's this poor guy listening to our stream of consciousness ideas followed by me going crazy at the idea of spending even more money to replace perfectly working appliances. We weren't surprised that he never called us back with his final estimate.

The next three estimates came from another company we met with at the Home Show, another company we initially met at the home show but whose rep lives in our townhouse complex and has done over 30 kitchen here, and a company who just opened a storefront down the street from us that seems specialize in the inexpensive $5,999 kitchens you see advertised in the newspaper. We'd finally reached a consensus on the cabinet layout, countertops, floor and wall tile/backsplash.

The three estimates were pretty close to each other and each option had it's positives and negatives.

• The guy from our complex, Sol, a compact Israeli with the strongest handshake I've ever encouintered, came in with the highest total bid, and was compounded by the fact that he didn't take credit cards, so that meant our 5% credit card rebate would be moot except for the things we had to buy ourselves. Also some of the work would be sub-contracted, though Sol would still supervise everything.


• Johnny, the Armenian from the store down the street was very amenable to every idea we had and gave us some great ideas for the floor and backsplash, but we were concerned because his company's experience was most putting kitchens in new houses but very new to doing renovations.


• Alex, a Russian with a very thick accent, had the lowest bid. It seemed nothing we suggested was a problem. Add a canister light over the wet bar? No problem. Add a separate wall switch for the under-cabinet lighting? No problem.

We called each candidate out an extra time to review everything down to the last detail. We checked everyone online with the BBB and California State Contractors Board. Note that it is very difficult to compare estimates when they don't all cover exactly the same items. All that was left to do was choose who'd get the job...

Laundry Day Minus One

Well, tomorrow is a milestone day in the Elf family household. Our new washer and dryer will arrive. Those of you who have actually seen my home will know that our washer and dryer are in the garage, not the kitchen, which would then make you wonder just what the hell a new washer/dryer combo has to do with a kitchen blog.

The answer is: Not much really. We've needed a new dryer for a while now and our washer, while adequate, was nothing special. While shopping for kitchen appliances I noticed how cool some of the front-load washers looked. Again, anyone who knows me is aware that I would never spend an extra penny on anything just because it looks cool. Case in point: I drive an Aztek.

What I did notice beyond the coolness was that many of the front-load washers qualified for $250 rebates from the LA DWP because of their low energy and water consumption. So given a choice between a $500 standard washer or a $1000 washer that I could get for $750 after rebate that would also use less electricity and water and also do a better job cleaning clothes, I was sold. Hell, we're already taking out a loan to pay for the kitchen, so why not add a little more to the loan and upgrade? There were other rebates available on the washer and dryer as well, plus the dealer was running a 2-for-1 special on those (surprisingly expensive) pedestals that raise the washer and dryer up so you don't have to bend over and wrench your back to get that last remaining sock. Add on top of that the fact that the manufacturers rebate was about to expire and the DWP offer may not last forever either, plus the chance of the price going up after the new year, and we figured we'd better just buy the dammed things and be done with it.

Also slightly annoying is that we'll have to use different detergent. Regular detergents get too sudsy in front-loading washers, so we'll have to buy "HE" ("high efficiency") detergent from now on, and I don't think they carry that at Costco just yet, though I hope they will soon. (Update: A co-worker informs me that there is indeed a Kirkland-brand HE detergent. How did I miss it when I looked?)

If anyone is really that interested in the appliances themselves, here's the WASHER and here's the DRYER.

So anyway, they'll both be delivered on Saturday, and whole new era in laundry will begin.

Of course, what we really need is something that will get the kids to start a load of laundry without being prompted and before their dangerously overflowing hampers have to be declared an eco-hazard by the EPA. Actually, I think I have another one of my brilliant invention ideas. How about selling a clothes hamper that emits an annoying noise if it gets to the point where it's so stuffed that the lid can't close? It can be a siren or a recording prompting the owner to "DO YOUR LAUNDRY NOW!" that can play continuously or intermittently until the problem is addressed and the lid can close. It could have a feature similar to an alarm clock snooze button for those times when you can't just go do laundry immediately. This sounds like a novelty gift idea since nobody would ever buy it for themselves, but I can see people buying it for friends. It's no stupider an idea than the Chia Pet, right?

Detour

OK, time to go off topic and comment on a pressing issue of the day. The mother of Britney and Jamie Lynn Spears had been working on a book about parenting that has been put on hold after the revelation that 16 year-old Jamie Lynn is pregnant by her 19 year-old boyfriend.

Now even if the news of this pregnancy had not become public, just who the hell was going to buy this book in the first place? Is there anyone who thought they could learn anything about parenting from the mother of the nation's most infamous train wreck? Perhaps the book was meant to be displayed in the Humor section, next to "Raising Gifted Children" by Barbara Bush and Jaid Barrymore's "Mixing Martinis for Minors" and the follow-up "Curing Your Daughter's Hangover."

B4

Finally, as promised, here are the "before" pictures. I'd include some with the cabinet doors open but I'm afraid the images would cause some small children to have nightmares.

(click on the pictures to expand)

Now don't get me wrong, it was an adequate kitchen.

Most of our stuff fit in it, though just barely, except for all the crap we had to shove under the staircase. And there was also all the stuff we had to keep in the garage, though shopping for food as Costco usually means having buy more than you want to keep in your cabinets. OK, maybe our stuff didn't fit. And yes, we have a lot of soda right now. It's been on sale lately so I've stocked up. There's actually another five 12-packs in the garage right now.

Miraculously the railing between the kitchen and the back room never did break off, no matter how many times the kids and houseguests would lean on it and play with it. No cabinet doors ever broke off though you'll notice few of the doors remained closed on their own, preferring to hang open a bit. The only problems we had with the plumbing were when we tried to shove too many things, particularly eggshells, down the antiquated garbage disposal. That's one reason why with the remodel we're going for the Cadillac of garbage disposals. Seriously people, do not skimp on garbage disposals. One service call on a crappy disposal will negate any up-front savings.

Notice also the rack above the sink holding the pots and pans. It worked for us because I'm only 5'8' and wife is 5'5", so as long as we positioned the smaller items at the front of the rack we'd rarely hit our heads. As for guests, well, most of them learned either to duck or just stay the hell away from the sink.

Wife has already decreed that there will be no magnets on the new stainless steel fridge. But she has not said where all of this crap is going to go.

Oh yeah...

Man, it is so nice to have a relatively neat garage. It's great to be able to open the car doors without worrying about knocking something over. Now there's no way in hell we'll ever be able to park two cars in our alleged two-car garage, but this is still a drastic improvement.

What Was I Thinking? (Part 3)

First off: One thing I kept hearing throughout our research process is that kitchen and bathroom improvements pay for themselves by increasing the home's retail value. Well, lots of people also said that the Iraq War would also pay for itself, and that estimate has only been off by several hundred billion dollars. As far as my home goes, I don't give a rat's ass about the resale value since I plan on living there until either I die or have to be sent to an old age home, by which time the kitchen would need to be redone yet again.

Anyway, the last time we looked at doing the kitchen we were not very imaginative. Everything was going to stay in the same place but we were going to add a small island. Now that we were finally committed to doing this once and for all, we though we'd go to the Home Improvement Show held several times a year at the Los Angeles Convention Center. We went there a few years ago and saw some cute ideas for layouts, gadgets and such, but nothing that really stood out. This time we dragged the kids along, and dear readers, consider this sage piece of advice: Young children absolutely hate home improvement shows. They're not too fond of the trip to and from the Convention Center either, particularly if you decide to stop at Ikea on the way back home. Though in retrospect, I have to wonder as I picture my kids in the back seat, Daughter with her portable CD player and Son with his Nintendo DS, how the hell I ever survived trips like that in the back seat of my parents' car without miniaturized portable electronics to keep me occupied?

So the show at the Convention Center was almost a complete waste of time. We got a free pumpkin, a nice large one in fact, however I didn't even take it out of my car until well after Halloween, though fortunately before my car would begin to smell like rotting pumpkin. We looked at a few kitchen displays and learned the Caesarstone has pretty much replaced Corian as the artificial counter surface material of choice, at least for those who don't want granite. There were some cute doo-dads, like the pull-out spice rack which is a great use of space when you've got an extra eight inches of lower cabinet space next to the stove. But mostly we just left our name and address with a few of the more reputable looking companies for them to come out to our house and give us estimates.

Come back next time as Wife and I confuse the crap out of some poor estimators and receive estimates that far exceed my wildest expectations, and believe me, I can expect with the wildest of them...

Nothing today

Ugh. Nothing kitchen-related today, just five hours cleaning out the dirty, dusty garage. It'll take longer to clean out the kitchen next week, though fortunately it's nowhere near as dirty or dusty.

What Was I Thinking? (Part 2)

OK, where were we? Oh yeah, near present day. It's early October, I'm sitting in the kitchen, basking once again in its hideousness and at the same time I was thinking about what to get my wife for her upcoming milestone-type (i.e. a multiple of five) birthday. I was wracking my brain to come up with something, anything, that did not involve jewelry. I don't recall the exact motivation behind it, but I thought what if I told her we could finally do the kitchen and try to pass that off as a gift. That way we can take care of something we'd have done anyway and I get out of having to buy her yet more jewelry. Yes, I know there's no logic in spending a five-figure-plus amount to avoid spending a small four-figure amount on a tiny, shiny stone. But we really needed to re-do the kitchen. Nobody in history has ever needed jewelry, despite what my wife and brother-in-law would try to have to believe.

Another mitigating factor was something I got in the mail from Citibank. They were offering five-times points on all purchases made with a particular credit card through the end of the year. So if we charged $20,000 we'd get 100,000 points, which would get us $1,000 in gift cards. Not a bad deal. (Skipping to the middle chapter of our story, spoiling it for those who prefer their narratives in chronological order, I'll end up disappointed that the contractor we ended up using doesn't take credit cards, thereby negating a significant part of our expected rebate and increasing the overall cost of the project. Fuck! And there's my first f-bomb of the blog. It won't be the last.)

What kind of a budget did I have in mind for this whole project? Well, we already have appliances, though we'd need to get a top-mounted microwave and we really needed to replace the dishwasher, but the fridge and range both work fine, so why replace them? You know what, I think I'll save the full financial aspect for a separate post. There's so much to cover, but let's just say that the price of our desires easily exceeded even my wildest estimations. Plus it seemed that each time we reviewed an item that needed to be done, it only pointed out something else we'd need to do that we also managed to overlook. So again.... Fuck! Ah, so cathartic.

Anyway, it took me a few days to figure out exactly how to propose this to Wife. Somehow one night, after the kids had gone to bed, I just blurted out "Honey, how about, if instead of a big birthday present and party and all that stuff we just finally dive in and re-do the kitchen?" Having steeled myself for major rejection and possible anger, her reaction was quite a surprise. She liked the idea. She even got excited. So I dodged a bullet only to find myself standing in front of a cannon...

I'll pick it up from here next time.

What Was I Thinking? (Part 1A)

I thought I should complete the list of things in our home that required improvement. Several drawers in the kitchen were off the rails and could hardly open or close. The walls in the room behind the kitchen are covered in hideous white-painted wood paneling straight out of the 1970's. The wet bar is made from the same crappy materials as the kitchen cabinets. The ceilings are covered with the acoustic cottage cheese, with a big wide ugly swath missing from where we had copper piping installed. The kitchen lighting is insufficient. The fact that the location of our kitchen guarantees it gets little natural light doesn't help.

Need I point out again that practically all of these items have been in exactly the same condition since we moved in, over eight and a half years ago?

What Was I Thinking? (Part 1)

Oh, where to begin? How about February 1999 when Wife and I first looked at the townhouse we'd eventually purchase? The place was nice and spacious, coming in at just over 2,000 square feet with a two-car garage, conveniently located, just at the high end of our budget and in a good neighborhood. Of course, there were some problems, but nothing we couldn't eventually get fixed up. Those problems were the kitchen and all three bathrooms. We eventually fixed up the two upstairs bathrooms and figured the downstairs bathroom was not too bad. That left the kitchen...

So what was wrong with the kitchen, you might ask. Go ahead, ask. I'll wait. I said ask dammit! See, that wasn't so hard, was it? Next time just do what the blog says and we'll all get along fine. Now, where were we? Oh, yeah, the problems with the kitchen. The stove was a piece of garbage that died not long after we moved in. The floor was scratched and stained. The tile on the wall didn't match the rest of the kitchen. The cabinets were made of something only remotely resembling wood. The intricate carvings on the cabinet doors only served to accumulate dust and dirt which made them look even worse. The lack of counter space was made worse by the need to take up some of it for our microwave. The ceiling exhaust fan didn't work. The location for the refrigerator was less than optimal, particularly when it sticks out as far as ours does. The railing was loose and wobbly. Need I go on?

The plan was to refurbish the kitchen when we could finally afford it. Granted, when we moved in Wife was already three months pregnant with Son, so we weren't going to be able to afford it any time soon. Flash forward about three years and we actually got to the point where we had Home Depot come out and start giving us some real estimates. The idea was to replace all the cabinets and fixtures, leaving most everything where it was but adding an island in the middle. The whole job would have run around $15,000, using their standard materials, not exactly "the good stuff." Knowing what we know now about Home Depot's incredibly shoddy home services, we're very lucky that we decided to hold off doing anything, most notably because the company I was working for at the time had lost pretty much every hope of stability. It was only a matter of time until I'd be laid off, which did indeed happen less than a year later. I eventually got a new job, though Wife would go through her own period of employment hell, leaving our kitchen dreams unfulfilled for a few more years to come.

Now we move forward to a few short months ago, not long before Halloween. What made us decide to take the leap this time? You'll have to wait until the next post to find out. So check back for "What Was I Thinking? (Part 2)" Coming soon, possibly even with pictures.

The Ground Rules

Wow, it's another self-serving blog with delusions of grandeur, just what the world needs, right? Well, I live in my own little world and I need this outlet, got it? Anyway, I'm in charge here. Feel free to return any time and see how the progress is going. Leave a comment if you want. Or don't.

I also reserve the right to change anything I write retroactively, particularly if it will help me win an argument. My version of reality is the one that's going to prevail here. Oh yeah, I'm 41 years old and I may, should the mood strike me, use adult language when I deem it appropriate. If your delicate sensibilities can't handle the occasional f-bomb, then please feel free to go find someone else's blog about growing turnips, or the proper method of scrapbooking leaves or some other astoundingly tedious and pedantic subject where the frequency of adult language is likely to be far lower than here.